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Sprout I have been haunted by the New Science Projects, ever since I heard the song "Poison Culture" performed at the Crossroads Infoshop in Kansas City. It was a breathtaking, heart wrenching, bittersweet moment! I also think the artwork of the album covers is amazing! Favorite track: 23rd Funeral.
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released April 27, 2013

Recorded Oct 2011 - Feb 2013 in Denton, Texas by Michael Briggs

Dale Jones - Songs, Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, E-bow, Keys, Electric Guitar on #1, 4, 8, 9, 10
Donovan Ford - Bass, Back-up Vocals
Scarlett Wright - Drums
Victor Moterroso - Electric Guitar
Nick Foreman - Cello on #3




New Science Projects Denton

Denton Blooz-Punk

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Track Name: Banana
don’t call me a man
don’t call me anything
(a fat man in a chick-suit, broad-shouldered,
with bad acne)
don’t give me a name
just help me believe
oh, I’m ‘too built for passing?’
why can’t you just let me be?
if I were thinner and shorter
would they still laugh at me?
or would they even say anything?


don’t avert your eyes
just to stare from behind
oh, I’m aching for ordinary, why can’t my
body comply?
I thought I wore the right things
I practiced my walk
but I can’t go to the drug store without
leaving ripples of talk.
if I were thinner and shorter,
do you think they’d believe?
I swear to god I’d give anything.

Track Name: Staycation
oh, this is the last of a year's worth of weekends
where I'll be spending the night
this is the last time I'll lay down beside you
and cringe as your body presses into mine

this is the last time you'll call me your lover
this is the last time you'll call me a friend
this is my last chance to make for the exit
and to pray to the lord you won't call me again

this is the last time I'll sleep with you naked
this is the last time I'll feel like a pig
this is the last time I'm letting you do it
this is the last time, and never again

and i swear, if this was real, it'd be exciting
(but i guess, if this was real, I wouldn't be crying

oh, you are the face of every good adult's warning
back from when I was young,
and you are the door to the house they were boarding,
when all of the family-feelings have gone

you are the worm that is eating me often
you are the feeling of fear in the night
you are the face that I catch in the mirror
before i can reach out to put on the light

and you are the demon that sleeps in my silence
you are ghost that I see in my grin
you are the shame that i have for my body
and you are the hate that is holding it in

and I swear, if you can feel, you won't try to find me
(but I guess, if you could feel, you wouldn't be inside me now)
Track Name: Second Wifer
and I’m sorry I was never more impossible
how I’d love to make you suffer…
though there’s distance between
all of the past-done things
I can still remember everything

second wifer
‘forever true,’ you know?
How I’d carve the words into your throat!

and I wonder,
when I fall asleep,
did you ever stop to think of me?
am I so ugly?
am I so horrible?
am I really that completely unlovable?

second wifer
‘forever true,’ you know?
How I’d carve the words into your throat!

and you’re getting older now…
and you’re getting older now…
it’s like a purge
It is flushing out
Oh, how I’d shovel shit into your mouth!

(second wifer holds their tongue)
Track Name: 23rd Funeral
23 years living dead
up to my ears in
my own hell of living shit
if i was a greater man
if i was a stronger man
i'd lift myself up or start fresh again
but i'm not that hero
foretold by liars
more than a failure, I am an error
i'm a no-one, a coward, a waste of life

and every morning, dead,
that greets my waking mind
reminds me of all of this

why should i waste more time?

after 23 years, here it ends
a regrettable story of
a man who should not have been
don't you stop me now
don't open your mouth
I'll be bleeding and you will be laughing
and they'll send flowers
to my parents
on the card, a 'Congratulations!'
all of my family will gather to celebrate

and they'll all say 'About time!'
beside the dump site sign
the only grave that's right

waste back to waste
Track Name: Secret Lover
and in the sweltering locker room,
what is it that i hear?
the sound of so many insects,
slithering to my ear
'can you believe how she dresses on weekends?'
'can you believe that we change with a queer?'

oh, i cover my eyes
i cover my face
where can i hide?
i want to die
i know:
my face is wrong
my teeth are wrong
my books are wrong
my clothes are wrong
(can't wait for summer
secret lover of mine)
my eyes are wrong
my ass is wrong
my thoughts are wrong
my life is wrong
(can't wait for summer
secret lover of mine)

and in the car, i feel her lips touching my neck
in the car, she asks if i've kept her secret
in the car, as both her hands start moving low
in the car...why is she scared for them to
my hair is wrong
my nails are wrong
my boots are wrong
my heart is wrong
(can't wait for summer
secret lover of mine)
my hips are wrong
my head is wrong
my arms are wrong
my love is wrong
(can't wait for summer
secret lover of mine)
Track Name: Dancing With The Stars
give me a body like the TV
give me a mouth that melts the mind
give me two hands to put my rings upon
and let me step out tonight
onto the pages of the magazines
into the featured centerfold
i am the princess of the pull-out poster spread
your forever friendly foal
(oh, wish i do
oh wish i do)

give me luscious lips
give me pleasure trips to distant places
where there are no familiar faces
get me out of this
my trailer-park subsistence
off of the path of least resistance
into a future to behold

give me a life that makes the movies
give me the shimmer of the stars
give me the biggest house in hollywood
where the tabloids always are
in the glimmer of the golden glaze
and the craning camera's curl
i'll be the mistress of a million lonely men
effervescent cover girl
(oh, wish i do
oh wish i do)

give me a new smile
get me a million miles from this disaster
i can't leave it any faster
get rid of my wife
let me live my life like on the TV
i want everyone to see me

when i was a boy,
i never prayed for anything
now that i'm a man
i finally understand
wanting the impossible
every day
Track Name: Latest Looks
And, did god make me like this?
with three legs and no tits?
with five eyes and two lips to own?
And, will this be my whole life?
No husband, just some wife,
who will wait for me each night, alone?
Until we climb into that marriage bed,
with the covers up over our heads
(and with me wishing I was dead,
I will pretend.)

Oh, and is there an end to it?
the ball games and beers and shit?
the hypermasculine fishing trips?
the ‘steers and queers’ and all the rest?
Oh, if I could lead a different life,
with a body to match my mind,
I think I’d finally feel all right,
you know?

and I’d be showing off nearly every day
and smiling when they look my way
and happy when I hear them say:

“maybe she’s born with it”
“easy breezy beautiful”
Track Name: Vulture
when you open your front door
and see me parked, alone,
out beneath the carport
won't you smile for me?

i know you're not alone
i've searched your garbage
for the records to your cell phone
does he taste like me?

well, i know he won't
because you'll be missing me
you will be missing me
you will be missing me

and all the court orders
and battered women's shelters
i'll take 'em, easy.
you better believe me
i'll take 'em one handed
i will demand it

one day...
Track Name: Beautyrest
you'll never know how much i hate you
your fat body heaving like a wasted jock
the razors carve my legs and arms
where once your welcome hands would walk
oh, sleep on the couch, sleep in the car
give up the house, give up the yard
give up the dreams you grew in my heart
(i twist in the sheets, awake in the dark)

oh, there is a line, there is a line
you have made yours and i have made mine
oh, there is a line, there is a line
but remember the day when i dressed in white?
remember the beach? remember the plane?
remember my voice moaning your name?
remember the vows we swore to keep?
(i lay in our bed, but i will not sleep)

babop babop babop babop bah
Track Name: Star Tenant
in this bed in my separate apartment,
i am consummate with new produce.
with your picture still inside my wallet
i will photograph my life
for you

is it hard? you bet it is
is it bad? you bet it is

“take another picture of me!”

with this flashbulb, I will burn out our future
with this match, I will groan out of you
with his hands spreading out my…destruction,
I become someone new

is it bad? you bet it is
is it hard? you bet it is

“take another picture of me!”

in this heart, there is anger and destruction
there is a common question to my dreams:
if, in this world, there are meanings behind actions
OH MY GOD fill me up with these
Track Name: The Biggest Loser
monday night blues
thought i'd call you
just bored or something,
in the back booth

pressing buttons like i
did so many old times
the same keys, but different

and i am mashing now
like the marshmallow man
my fat, piggy hands can't ring your line
i am mashing now
like the marshmallow man
i don't understand what is going
wrong tonight

my waitress
wears a green dress
i pretend she is a struggling actress
pouring coffee all night
and on the set by daylight
and I know she will be happy
for her whole life

and i am watching her now
at the register stand
with the Oscar already in her hand
i am watching her now
at the register stand
and i've never seen a woman look so grand

...though, she probably thinks i'm a
fat pervert, man